Happy New Year…

Oh, hey there blog… Remember me?  Well... this is awkward, but Happy New Year!! It counts because it’s still January, right?

Did I plan on taking a 5 month break from writing here?  Absolutely not.   To be honest, the last 365 days of my life have been a series of unexpected left turns, shattered dreams, and broken plans.  Much of this was truly out of my hands, and yet I was along for the ride, like it or not.  (I swear I don’t remember signing the waiver for this roller coaster…)

I wanted to run hard into 2025 with vision and passion for this next season of my life, and instead found myself almost frozen in place with what I’ve best been able to describe as emotional whiplash.

Giving myself some time to catch my breath, and allowing myself to just “be,” is hard for my personality type… but the lessons learned in times of challenge tend to be the ones that stick, ya know?

So while I’ve been learning to give myself some grace, (something I find so much easier to give others over myself), here is where I have landed:

What is all if this was happening FOR me instead of TO me?

This subtle shift is everything.

This is the hope I passionately sing over my family, friends, clients… Even when I can’t see it… I get to believe that one day, I will look back in awe at the way all of my “broken dreams” were rebuilt into something better than I could ever ask or imagine.

Jumanji

I have the absurd privilege to head out of town once a year with a bunch of moms for a weekend at the beach… no kids, no spouses, just women. I look forward to this all year long, and am beyond thankful to be a part of this group of ladies. It is nonstop laughing, so much so that I typically leave with sore abs.

As the sun started to set on the beach, (after a wild encounter with a pelican and an epic rainbow), the wind died down enough for the biting flies to unleash their fury.

The contrast of the breathtaking beauty of nature, and this awful tiny creature that attacked our legs was enough to make my friend wonder aloud, “Why in the world did God make these awful bugs???”

I replied back, “Girl, because the world is broken!”

We pondered that for a minute before being chased inside by the bugs and an incoming storm… but I kept thinking about it later that night, and I had this thought.

Our beautiful and broken world is a lot like Jumanji… Much like in the game where chaos is unleashed in wild ways, the curse of the fall of mankind has unleashed chaos that pulls us away from the beautiful created order. Things are not as they should be. We feel this in the brokenness of our bodies, relationships, and culture at large… and while we struggle in the midst of this, we have hope that is it not all in vain. We have hope that game will come to an end, and all the sickness, sadness, chaos, pain, death, and defeat will all get sucked back into the spiritual “Jumanji board,” and everything will be restored in perfect harmony. We get to see glimmers of what is to come, and this fuels our hope for the days when darkness seems to be prevailing. Take heart if you’re in a season that feels like monkeys ransacking your kitchen, friend. It’s not for nothing, and I believe that to my very core.

Start ‘em young…

It is easy for me to jump on a soap box whenever certain issues come up… But when a particular issue also pokes my Mama Bear instincts… you better watch out!

The tide of today’s culture and the dominating messages of social media feel impossible to contain, especially when it comes to shaping the hearts and minds of young girls and women. It is tempting to throw up our hands in defeat, as wave after wave crashes against the very values that are true to the core… however… I think that feeling is exactly what the enemy of my heart and yours wants us to feel, and wants us to give into.

I’ve been off social media for a few years now, and haven’t allowed my kids to have access to the internet. My daughter likes to remind me that she is “only one in the entire middle school” without a phone. Even with these protective guardrails in place, she came to me with the influence of the internet telling her what to believe about her body.

After calming my own reactionary anger over these lies already coming for my girl, we were able to begin the necessary conversations about her body, truth, and the snare of the internet. Helping her step back and see the WHY behind the things she was feeling pressured to believe was tricky, but in the end we made it. Why did she feel inadequate? Ultimately, because YouTube wanted her to feel that way…

We have to start them young, friends. We as moms, aunts, coaches, leaders, must lead this generation to truth… Truth that is literal oxygen to our souls, and stronger than any wave of lies the world will throw at it.

Canada, Ey!

Last month, my husband, Matt, and I were able to get away to Banff, Canada to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.  (How am I old enough to have been married for 15 years?!)  Anyway, now that some time has passed and I’m able to reflect on this incredible trip, I wanted to share some of the beauty and my overwhelming gratitude that we were able to go!

My parents graciously took our kids for the week to allow for this getaway to happen.  I do not take it lightly that we were able to travel so far away, and not one minute was spent worrying about my kids.  They were having their best week of summer, living up “lake life” in Michigan, with two people who love them beyond their imaginations' ability to understand.  

Y’all.  The pictures you google on the internet of Banff are legit what you end up seeing in real life.  The blues and greens of the lakes, the mountain peaks, rushing blue rivers around every turn… I felt like I was hiking around a Bob Ross painting, but even he wouldn’t have chosen such a wild blue for the water! It was truly breathtaking, and brought me to tears.  The weather was perfect, the scenery almost indescribable, and the time with my husband was so sweet.  I scarce can take in all of the goodness from this trip, and am just left in awe of our Creator.  

It’s good to remember how small we are sometimes… and the Rocky Mountains will do just that!  It was healing for my soul in so many ways… I literally could go on and on… but for now, put Banff, Canada on your bucket list.  If anyone wants to go through my entire camera roll with me, I’ll gladly share every picture and our perfect itinerary! ;)

Mascara Mornings

Story time.

For well over a decade, my days have started in the dark hours of the morning coaching classes or personal training amazing people before they head to work. I often have made light of the fact that in my vanity, I put on mascara at 4:00 in the morning. It’s my thing. I love mascara, and thanks to my girl Yachen for hooking me up with some serum, I love long eyelashes to go with it! I promise I’m going somewhere with this…

A few weeks ago, I got ready for work as I always do, in a half awake state, my unconscious brain basically running the show for my body. Nothing was out of the norm… until I went to the bathroom for the first time in my day, looked up in the mirror while washing my hands, and noticed that I had completely forgotten to put on mascara.

Can I be honest? I felt naked. Exposed. I am not the type to never leave the house without make up… I totally do! This was different… It wasn’t a conscious choice. I would never choose to go to work for 8 hours without my beloved mascara on.

I was shocked at how self conscious I felt. The first few hours I was at work, I didn’t even give a second thought to my appearance… But after that trip to the bathroom, I had a constant awareness in the back of my mind the rest of the day. Instead of being fully engaged with conversations, my mind was wondering if they noticed… Did they think I was just tired, or had a rough night and I wasn’t really ready to give my all at work? Why am I so obesessed with this, and holy cow how am I so shallow??

All of this over mascara.

It would have been easy to let those thoughts steamroll down the runaway thought train, tracking down my old, well worn paths of shame and judgement… And believe me, they were loaded up on the tracks and ready to go! But, praise God for growth and truth! Noticing I was starting to spiral, and that the same old lies were coming for me, I was able to throw on the brakes. Truth is the only thing stronger than lies. Even when I don’t feel like it is true, I can come back to what I know is true. My confidence is not based on my outward appearance, that is fleeting and fading, but solely on the fact that I am loved beyond my ability to understand by my Creator.

Do I still put on that mascara at 4AM? You betcha. But I’m not doing it to fix something, because friend, it isn’t broken in the first place.

Thoughts from the beach…

I have the privilege to burn through the dog days of summer with my kiddos at the beaches in Charleston. (As long as it’s not the weekend), we can pop over a bridge and be in paradise in about 20 minutes. I often remind my kids that they are ruined and spoiled… that people drop lots of money on plane tickets and renting houses to do something we get to do on a whim. When they have the audacity to complain while we are getting ready, I have to take some serious deep breaths so I don’t explode… How could they take this beautiful place for granted??? I didn’t even lay eyes on the ocean until I was 18 year old!

Sure enough, once we lug all of our gear to the coast, the sweaty whining small beings flip a switch, and all is well. Complaining turns to giggling, catching waves, and soaking in the sunshine.

It is tempting to rub it in my kid’s faces about how right I was, that it was worth it to endure the heat, and that the beach is always better… but then I catch myself… How often am I guilty of acting JUST like them.

Where have I gone blind to my blessings, bogged down by sweat and struggle, tempted to lose faith that it is all worth it?

Oof.

So today, I’m setting my mind on the things I get to be grateful for in my life… and including the things that feel heavy. The waves will come and go, and each one of them is worth it.